Soup for freaks

When your loved one sends you a message saying they look like the Mule Faced Woman (from Ripley's Believe It Or Not?) following minor dental surgery, there's only one thing to do: make soup.

The Mule Faced Woman

Cauliflower cheese soup

Roughly chop a smallish cauliflower and an onion. Put them in a saucepan and add enough water to cover about two thirds of the veg. Add a stock cube, bring slowly to the boil and allow to simmer for at least 30 minutes. While that's happening, make a cheese sauce by mixing 30g plain flour into 30g melted butter, adding about half a pint of milk, a teaspoon of English mustard and about 100g cheese. The end result should be reasonably thick and tasty. Tip the contents of both pans into a blender and whizz until smooth and creamy.

Grace McDaniels made a good living out of being 'The World's Ugliest Woman', though she preferred to be called the Mule Faced Woman. Looks to me like she's just having a bit of trouble with her Big Mac...