Magic mushrooms

An unknown man commented to me in the street today "You're dressed for the weather"... It didn't sound entirely complimentary. In other news, my housekeeping skills have been especially poor these past few days and I've really been scraping the barrel/bottom of the fridge. But I found a pack of mushrooms - best before a couple of days ago - and squeezed two tasty meals out of them. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Fun guys in the woods

Bacon and mushroom spaghetti for one

Put half a pack of sliced mushrooms, half a pack of lardons and a half a thinly sliced onion in a frying pan with a small knob of butter and cook until everything is soft. Meanwhile cook a handful of spaghetti. Beat an egg, add a splash of double cream and plenty of pepper and set aside for a moment. Drain the pasta and tip it into the frying pan with all the lovely stuff. Pour in the egg and cream mixture and stir well over a low heat for a couple of minutes before serving with grated Parmesan.

Cheese and mushroom quesadilla for one

Cook half a thinly sliced onion and half a pack of sliced mushrooms together in a pan with a small knob of butter. Meanwhile heat the oven to about 200/gas 6 and grate a handful of cheese. Place a flour tortilla on a baking sheet then cover it with the cheese and mushroom/onion mix. Top with another tortilla and bake for about 5-10 minutes until lightly browned on top. Eat hot with leftover salsa and guacamole.

Instructions to my husband

I'm off for the weekend. Here's what I have planned for you to eat:

Tonight : Spaghetti Bolognese and flapjacks (serve the flapjacks for pudding, not on the side). The bolognese is in the slow cooker and the spaghetti is in a bowl in the fridge. To reheat it, boil a kettle of water and put the water and pasta in a pan until the water comes back to the boil (when it has bubbles on top). Get one of the children to grate some cheese.

This is spaghetti bolognese

These are flapjacks

Saturday : A selection of ready made Chinese dishes from a leading supermarket (not just any old ready-made rubbish).

Sunday : Steak and onion pie from the local farm shop with broccoli and corn on the cob. Hint: The corn is the kind that comes packaged in leaves rather than see-through plastic. Located in the drawers in the fridge.

There are no raw meat products in the kitchen and there are plenty of refined carbs in the larder. Any questions, ask the kids!

There is also one of these:

Spaghetti Bolognese

I made the spaghetti Bolognese by combining a 500g pack of lean mince, a chopped onion, half a chopped red pepper and a crushed clove of garlic in a pan and cooking until the mince was brown, bashing out any lumps along the way. I then added half a tin of chopped tomatoes that had been languishing in the fridge, about a quarter of a tin of kidney beans in chilli sauce (unorthodox, I know, but they needed using up too), a 500g jar of Dolmio original sauce, a third of the Dolmio jar of water and an Oxo cube. I let it come to the boil and tipped it into a slow cooker, where it will cook on high for about 3 hours, before being turned off and neglected for another 6 hours.

Have a lovely weekend everyone!