Plenty more fish in the sea

What's your worst nightmare? Being trapped in a lift? Naked in public? Teeth falling out? Mine involved a fish shaped cookie cutter...

I had agreed to make 60 iced fish-shaped cookies for a children's party being organised by two ruthlessly efficient mothers - and lost the cookie cutter at the last possible moment. I put out a plea on Facebook, I sent texts to all my baking friends: no-one had a fish. But salvation comes in the strangest forms - in this case the just-opened 'Cake Kit' (sister shop of Kitchen Kit) in Fleet, who offered a choice of fish or dolphin.

Still looking for Nemo...

The recipe for the dough comes from Annabel Karmel. It's failsafe AND delicious, with a crisp texture and the buttery taste of shortbread. And it's not just for making fish either - roll it into a big fat sausage and cut into slices about half a centimetre thick for boring-but-fast round cookies.

Cookie dough

250g butter - at room temperature

140g caster sugar

1 egg yolk

2 teaspoons vanilla essence

300g plain flour

¼ teaspoon salt

Pre-heat oven to 180/gas 4. Put everything except the flour and salt into a bowl and beat well. Add the flour and salt, then mix again. Press the dough together firmly with your hands, then wrap it in clingfilm and put it in the fridge for 30 minutes. When you get it out, cut into 2 or 3 chunks, and work with one at a time (smaller volume = easier to handle), bringing all the scrappy bits together at the end. Using plenty of flour, roll it out, cut into shapes about half a centimetre thick and bake for 10-15 minutes until light golden brown. And don't have nightmares...

Naked fish

Old Mother Hubbard's Sunday lunch

The cupboard was very bare so she went to the freezer instead. She found a single piece of cod and two salmon steaks. "Aha" she thought, "these will defrost quickly". The children weren't so keen and started squabbling about who would have the cod (salmon is pesce non grata here) and generally mithering about being made to eat fish. And then Child 1 had the bright idea of dipping the fish in breadcrumbs mixed with parmesan and shallow frying it. We did, and it was an unqualified success.

The magic ingredient

Cod and salmon in crunchy parmesan breadcrumbs

I had lots of home made breadcrumbs in the freezer (the by-product of making my own bread with tough crusts), and used a couple of handfuls mixed with a handful of grated Parmesan. I dipped each piece of fish in beaten egg, then dragged it through the breadcrumbs mixture, before frying in about 3 tablespoons hot olive oil for a few minutes each side.

Up-cycled fish

According to a recent report, we throw away 50% of the food we buy. Not in this house, where our fridge is the modern equivalent of the old-fashioned pig bucket, containing leftovers galore. While most families sat down to a succulent roast beast on Sunday, we polished off a variety of odds and ends in the war on waste - including a pair of cod fillets a mere 24 hours past their sell-by date. Only one was eaten, so two days later I up-cycled its twin into tasty fishcakes.

Plenty more fish in the sea

Fish cakes

Mashed potato

Fish, cooked

Spring onions

Sweetcorn

Parmesan, grated

Chopped parsley

Plain flour

While the potatoes are cooking, flake the fish, chop the spring onions and parsley and put them in a bowl with plenty of seasoning and the Parmesan. Mash the potatoes with a little butter and milk (not too sloppy), let them cool for a few minutes, then add them to the bowl and stir well. Shape into rounds, dust with flour and shallow fry in a splash of olive oil heated with a knob of butter. Serve with a poached or fried egg on top.

Be inventive - use tinned tuna/salmon, capers, any leftover veg (chopped smallish), any kind of hard cheese, dill instead of parsley, even ham or cooked bacon. 

Fishing for compliments

Fish is so quick and easy to cook, but my children moan like anything when presented with it in its non-battered, non-fingered natural state. So tonight we're having it in soup - more of a stew really -

Creamy Smoked Fish Chowder

Chow down

Get started by frying a large onion (finely chopped) with some bacon (also chopped). I used 4 thick rashers. When the onion is soft add some chunks of potato - new ones are best as they hold their shape and don't tend to fall apart (I used 7). Stir them around for a minute and then pour in a litre of cold water and half a vegetable stock cube. Bring to the boil and simmer for about 10 minutes. Add 400g coarsely chopped smoked haddock and a salmon fillet, a handful of frozen peas and a more generous handful of frozen sweetcorn (or a small tin). Bring to the boil and simmer for 5-10 minutes until the fish is cooked through. Stir in some double cream, add salt and pepper and serve.

Banana Chocolate Muffins  

Bananas rotting in your fruit bowl? Transform them into 12 delicious muffins:

Banana-chocolate muffins

2 ripe bananas, mashed

80g white/brown Chocolate Buttons
350g plain flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

100g caster sugar
115g melted butter
2 eggs
300ml milk
1/4 teaspoon salt

Pre-heat oven to 200. Combine flour, baking powder, sugar and salt in a bowl. Whisk eggs, milk and melted butter together and fold into the dry ingredients, adding bananas and chocolate. Divide between 12 muffin cases and bake for 20 minutes, until golden. Best eaten warm, while the chocolate is still gooey.