Turning over a new (lettuce) leaf

I've been having feelings of slight despair every time I look in the fridge. It's the same kind of feeling I get when I open my wardrobe. I will make a decent dish out of what's there/will be able to dress myself without causing looks of alarm from passers-by, but really I want to chuck everything out and start again. I could solve the wardrobe problem with a personal shopper, but does anyone offer a personal shopping service for fridges?

Thinks: The fridge PS could take into account your body shape and decide to stock you up with full-fat or low-fat yogurts; she could update your classics with a new spicy chorizo or a flavoured houmous; she could suggest accessorising with some coloured plastic storage boxes; or she could even lead you towards a whole new line of fridge magnets.

But then something magical happened; the sun came out. Now I can strip out all the dark coloured moth-eaten stuff and replace it with white linen, and throw away that old shrink-wrapped swede and buy salad leaves! I lost no time in making Salad Niçoise.

Salad Niçoise with hot smoked salmon

1 egg per person, lightly hardboiled
lettuce
green beans, cooked
tomatoes
black olives
hot smoked salmon (I used a 150g pack for 2 people)
new potatoes

Cut the potatoes into smallish chunks and cook them in a pan of water with a pinch of salt. Add the eggs to the pan just as the water comes up to the boil and keep them there until the potatoes are done. Drain, and place the eggs into cold water for a few minutes, before peeling and quartering them. Meanwhile, assemble the salad by piling it all artfully on a large platter, finishing with the eggs and flaked salmon. I like to serve it undressed (it, not me) as it looks prettier that way (I don't). Serve with a dressing of your choice or this one:

Simple salad dressing

2 teaspoons runny honey
half a teaspoon Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
6 tablespoons olive oil
a generous pinch of salt

Place everything in a screw-top jar and shake vigorously.

Old skool

Love her or loathe her, Maggie did me a big favour. I was often milk monitor in my early days at school, which involved sticking straws through the foil tops of mini bottles of thick, cheesy milk which had been sitting in the playground all morning. In a bid to save the country money she scrapped the milk and became known as 'Maggie Thatcher, milk snatcher'. Hooray!

Milk wasn't the only vile thing we had to drink at school. Our lunch was served with water in coloured aluminium jugs (and matching tumblers) which tasted like it had been scooped out of a fish pond and was always slightly warmer than room temperature. The food wasn't bad though. I have to admit to being partial to the odd spam fritter with an ice cream scoop of mashed potato, and I really loved the spongey puddings and coloured custard. 

Here's one I made earlier...

Jam and Coconut Sponge with pink custard

125g margarine (for an authentic 1970's flavour)

125g caster sugar

2 eggs, beaten

125g self raising flour

½teaspoon baking powder

a few drops of vanilla essence

a splosh of milk

raspberry jam

dessicated coconut

Pre-heat the oven to 180/gas 4. Cream together the marg and sugar until pale and fluffy, then add eggs a little at a time. Mix in the milk and vanilla, then fold in the flour and baking powder. Pour into a lined tin measuring 18x20 cm and bake for about 20 minutes until risen and golden. When cool, spread liberally with raspberry jam and a  sprinkling of coconut. Serve with Ambrosia pink custard (in the little tubs) which has a very authentic taste.

Definitely the best days of our lives!

Chocolate chip shortbread

It's going to be a lovely day tomorrow. Really. So do your time in the kitchen today and be ready to get outdoors when the sun starts shining.

Whatever the weather, these chocolate chip shortbread rounds will not disappoint. Crisp, crunchy, buttery shortbread with chunks of dark and white chocolate (such as left-over Easter eggs). You could even go wild and add a handful of nuts.

Just add tea

Chocolate chip shortbread

225g butter

100g caster sugar

¼ teaspoon salt (if you're using unsalted butter; a generous pinch if not)

225g plain flour

½ teaspoon baking powder

125g chocolate (any type), chopped

Pre-heat oven to 150/gas 2. Cream the butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy. Add the flour, baking powder and chocolate and stir to form a stiff dough. Roll into walnut-sized rounds, flatten each one slightly and place on a baking tray at least 3cm apart. Bake for approximately 20 minutes until light golden brown. Remove from baking tray and cool on a rack.

The trouble with holidays

For me, a real holiday is one where the only thought I have to give food is what to order from the menu. No planning, no cooking, and no clearing up. But I do have one major area of disquiet that chips away at my unfettered enjoyment - the children's food choices. Given free rein at the buffet or menu they choose stuff that makes me cringe. Sometimes it's the combination, sometimes it's the bald lack of respect for their own bowel function. On a trip to France last year Child 1 proudly chose an "all-mollusc meal" (squid followed by snails).

Returning home from holiday recently, I was obsessed with redressing the nutritional balance. I cooked pasta sauce full of tomato seeds and red pepper skins, muffins with blueberries and lemon, and - today - sweetcorn fritters. They went down very well with a simple prawn and avocado salad and a dollop of sweet chilli sauce. Super-quick and delicious for all ages.

Sweetcorn fritters and prawn & avocado salad

Sweetcorn fritters

2 eggs

5 tablespoons milk

knob of melted butter

85g plain flour

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

330g can sweetcorn drained (I used 250g frozen sweetcorn, cooked for a couple of minutes)

a couple of finely sliced spring onions

Whisk the eggs, milk and melted butter together. Add the flour, salt and baking powder and whisk a bit more til smooth. Tip in the sweetcorn and spring onions and mix. Shallow fry large spoonfuls in hot oil for 1-2 minutes each side until golden brown. Drain on kitchen paper and keep them warm in the oven while you cook the rest. This made 10.

Prawn and avocado salad

An avocado

A couple of handfuls of cooked prawns

A squeeze of lime (optional)

2 teaspoons dark soy sauce

2 teaspoons cold water

½ teaspoon caster sugar

a few drops of sesame oil

Cut the avocado into chunks and sprinkle over a little lime juice. Mix together the soy sauce, water, sugar and oil and pour it over the avocado and prawns. Serve with a few shredded mint or whole coriander leaves. Serves 2

Don't put all your eggs in one basket

It should have been my best Easter ever: I was 7 and had been given a load of Easter eggs. I piled them up carefully, waiting to be given the nod to start chomping through them (or waiting until no-one was looking). After an interminable church service and lunch, my step-father announced that we were going for a drive. That's what you did on Sunday afternoons in the 1970's. I hated it, and often ended up throwing up in a National Trust car park. I don't know where we went that afternoon, but I was on a promise - no complaining and I could start on the chocolate when we got home. I remember rushing indoors to grab the biggest egg, but the stash had gone and the carpet was strewn with bits of cardboard and foil... the dog had got there before me. There wasn't anything left. I was bitterly disappointed, but deep down I couldn't begrudge her as she had been eating all my unwanted vegetables (fed surreptitiously under the table at mealtimes) for months.

I have been making up for it ever since.

Happy Easter!

Magic mushrooms

An unknown man commented to me in the street today "You're dressed for the weather"... It didn't sound entirely complimentary. In other news, my housekeeping skills have been especially poor these past few days and I've really been scraping the barrel/bottom of the fridge. But I found a pack of mushrooms - best before a couple of days ago - and squeezed two tasty meals out of them. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Fun guys in the woods

Bacon and mushroom spaghetti for one

Put half a pack of sliced mushrooms, half a pack of lardons and a half a thinly sliced onion in a frying pan with a small knob of butter and cook until everything is soft. Meanwhile cook a handful of spaghetti. Beat an egg, add a splash of double cream and plenty of pepper and set aside for a moment. Drain the pasta and tip it into the frying pan with all the lovely stuff. Pour in the egg and cream mixture and stir well over a low heat for a couple of minutes before serving with grated Parmesan.

Cheese and mushroom quesadilla for one

Cook half a thinly sliced onion and half a pack of sliced mushrooms together in a pan with a small knob of butter. Meanwhile heat the oven to about 200/gas 6 and grate a handful of cheese. Place a flour tortilla on a baking sheet then cover it with the cheese and mushroom/onion mix. Top with another tortilla and bake for about 5-10 minutes until lightly browned on top. Eat hot with leftover salsa and guacamole.

Double chocolate muffins

It's cold, it's grey, it's Monday and I am giving you chocolate muffins. Please don't burn the inside of your mouth when you eat them straight from the oven!

Double trouble

Double chocolate muffins

140g plain chocolate
375g self-raising flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
55g cocoa powder
85g caster sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
6 tablespoons sunflower oil
375ml milk
140g white chocolate, chopped

Pre-heat oven to 200/gas 6.

Melt the plain chocolate and set aside to cool slightly. Sift the flour, baking powder and cocoa into a large bowl and stir in the sugar and chopped white chocolate. Mix the eggs, vanilla, oil and milk together in a separate bowl and add the melted chocolate. Roughly fold the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients; less is more at this stage - do not mix too thoroughly. Divide the mixture between 15* muffin cases and bake for 20-25 minutes. Dust with icing sugar over when they are cool.

*The muffin in the picture was one of 18. I think they should be more top-heavy so suggest you make 15, or even 12 if you want whoppers.