Chestnuts - not just for Christmas

Don't mess with Christmas or Christmas will mess with you... I spent December chirping about my plans for a foolproof Christmas - making and freezing all the food in advance - and (radically) planning to eat it on Christmas Eve, leaving me free to enjoy Christmas day outside the kitchen. With comic timing, I was taken ill just before the meal and spent the next two days in an opioid haze before being cut open on 28th. I was unable to eat a single thing for six days; my circadian rhythms altered, leaving me glued to Peter Andre at 4.00am and falling asleep bolt upright during the day. But amidst all this corporeal chaos was inspiration - in the form of Nigella and the Barefoot Contessa on the Food Network making delicious, fresh dishes which I longed to re-create.

Now convalescing (aka 'milking it'), I find that it is simple foods I crave. Things like this nourishing

Chestnut and bacon soup:

75g streaky bacon
50g celery
125g onions
50g carrots (I used butternut squash)
25g butter
1 tsp dried thyme
240g tin cooked chestnuts
1.25 litres stock (or water plus stock cube)

Melt the butter in a pan, add the bacon, thyme and vegetables and cook for about 10 minutes until soft. Add the chestnuts and stock, season well and cook for about 20 minutes with a lid on. Blend and serve. Reheat with a little cream.

Chestnuts - not just for Christmas

Soup for freaks

When your loved one sends you a message saying they look like the Mule Faced Woman (from Ripley's Believe It Or Not?) following minor dental surgery, there's only one thing to do: make soup.

The Mule Faced Woman

Cauliflower cheese soup

Roughly chop a smallish cauliflower and an onion. Put them in a saucepan and add enough water to cover about two thirds of the veg. Add a stock cube, bring slowly to the boil and allow to simmer for at least 30 minutes. While that's happening, make a cheese sauce by mixing 30g plain flour into 30g melted butter, adding about half a pint of milk, a teaspoon of English mustard and about 100g cheese. The end result should be reasonably thick and tasty. Tip the contents of both pans into a blender and whizz until smooth and creamy.

Grace McDaniels made a good living out of being 'The World's Ugliest Woman', though she preferred to be called the Mule Faced Woman. Looks to me like she's just having a bit of trouble with her Big Mac...

Don't overlook the wrinklies

Not a plea to be nice to Grandma, but a call to arms for droopy carrots and withered apples.

Droopy carrot soup

Carrot soup

I used 6 medium carrots, 2 small onions, a generous knob of butter, a chicken stock cube and about 1 and a quarter pints of water. I cooked the onions in the butter on a medium heat until sweet and translucent, then added the carrots, stirred them round a bit and let them sweat over a low heat with the lid on for about 15 minutes. Then I poured in the water, added the stock cube and brought it to the boil, before putting the lid back on and simmering for a good half an hour and blending well.

Roasted apple wedges

The last 6 of my recent harvest have been sitting in a bowl, ignored, for about 2 weeks. They were a mixture of sizes and type, but I peeled, cored and cut them into wedges and put them in a roasting tin. I added 75g sugar, a teaspoon of cinnamon, a few grinds of nutmeg, a pinch of salt, a teaspoon of orange juice and a knob of butter and gave everything a good stir before putting it into a medium-hot oven (about 180/gas 6). My kitchen soon filled with the most amazing smell, which prompted me to open the oven and give everything another good stir. After about half an hour I had a mixture of slightly squishy and just-cooked wedges which taste like American apple pie. I am looking forward to eating them with some cold cream.

Looks like chips, tastes like toffee apple

Fishing for compliments

Fish is so quick and easy to cook, but my children moan like anything when presented with it in its non-battered, non-fingered natural state. So tonight we're having it in soup - more of a stew really -

Creamy Smoked Fish Chowder

Chow down

Get started by frying a large onion (finely chopped) with some bacon (also chopped). I used 4 thick rashers. When the onion is soft add some chunks of potato - new ones are best as they hold their shape and don't tend to fall apart (I used 7). Stir them around for a minute and then pour in a litre of cold water and half a vegetable stock cube. Bring to the boil and simmer for about 10 minutes. Add 400g coarsely chopped smoked haddock and a salmon fillet, a handful of frozen peas and a more generous handful of frozen sweetcorn (or a small tin). Bring to the boil and simmer for 5-10 minutes until the fish is cooked through. Stir in some double cream, add salt and pepper and serve.

Banana Chocolate Muffins  

Bananas rotting in your fruit bowl? Transform them into 12 delicious muffins:

Banana-chocolate muffins

2 ripe bananas, mashed

80g white/brown Chocolate Buttons
350g plain flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

100g caster sugar
115g melted butter
2 eggs
300ml milk
1/4 teaspoon salt

Pre-heat oven to 200. Combine flour, baking powder, sugar and salt in a bowl. Whisk eggs, milk and melted butter together and fold into the dry ingredients, adding bananas and chocolate. Divide between 12 muffin cases and bake for 20 minutes, until golden. Best eaten warm, while the chocolate is still gooey.

No sweat soup

Most soup recipes will tell you of the importance of sweating your vegetables to develop a deep, rich taste. But - shh, don't tell the children - rules are made to be broken and you can save precious minutes of prep time by simply putting some roughly chopped raw veg in a pan, adding water and a stock cube or 2 and boiling until everything is soft. Then blend and add something fattening like cream, cheese, bits of bacon etc.

From sad...

I have just made soup this way, using an old cauliflower, two onions, a clove of garlic, a potato, two stock cubes, and 50g Stilton - added at the end.

...to glad

This was eaten with yesterday's baguette.  To revive old bread (not sliced), run the loaf very quickly under cold water and put it in a hot oven for about 10 minutes.  Eat straight away.

Last night I spotted 4 pears in the fruit bowl that were 'on the turn'.  I peeled and sliced them, put them in an ovenproof dish, covered them with chocolate sponge mixture and baked for about 30 minutes at 170/ gas 4 until 'set' (see note below). Result - chocolate pear pudding, served hot with cream or cold in slices.  

Note: Don't wait for the middle bit to set or the sponge around the edges will be dry. The middle is therefore the best bit, kind of chocolate-saucy and rich.

Chocolate sponge:
100g caster sugar
100g butter
2 eggs
75g self raising flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
25g cocoa powder

Cream the butter and sugar together and fold in the dry ingredients (you may need to sieve the cocoa powder).